Do twins run in the family?

Today when people asked us about the twins we replied that in fact they were not twins, we had met on and we both had babies that were the same age, purely coincidental that they were born on the same day.

And then later when people asked if twins ran in the family, we replied, not with scissors they don’t.

A word to the wise folks. Everybody probably already knows this but if you are schlepping along with a tired and hungry baby and the bottle of milk you have packed is stone cold, the Starbucks folk are usually pretty awesome about giving you a Grande a cup with a coupla inches of hot water in it to warm that bottle. You all know what I am talking about when I say this. Screaming, hungry baby, cold milk, just sit down in the Starbucks and they will see why that Grande of hot water is important. I didn’t mean to disrupt your conversation folks! The Starbucks person actually carried my coffees and that Grande to the car for me…so helpful!

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Launch from the Planetarium

Today was a day well spent. Up early and out of the house early…around 11am. Drove to Vancouver and did a little people watching while sitting at Four Brothers Pizza enjoying a coupla slices of pizza pie. Commercial Drive is the bomb for people watching. I love being able to keep a running commentary going about the peeps we see as we sit and munch.

From the Drive to the Planetarium parking lot. We use this as a launch pad for our Granville Island exploits. Park the car there in their parking lot, hike into the building behind the big crab sculpture (one of my flash-bulb memories from being a kid is a photo of my cool Aunt Phyllis with her big late 1960s hair standing beside my Uncle Ward in front of that crab sculpture; funny the things you remember).

We get there and just as casual as can be walk into the building, pass by the admissions people and go downstairs to use their washrooms. Pretty clean facilities. A bit weird for me today seeing as I had a baby in the pouch carrier on my chest/tummy and I suddenly realized I needed to take a waz. I was trying to fumble around with my junkyard to find the main valve and I  couldn’t see jack shit down below the 49th parallel. Made me think I should skip that extra dessert more often just in case I ever got that big…

Anyway, fortunately I was wearing my trusty old 501s…button fly so not snowmobile tracks through the junk yard today. The guy at the urinal beside me looked positively uncomfortable when the kid I was carrying looked down and laughed…she was just cheerful, don’t be so self-concious there squirrel dick.

It is a funny thing in life when you can be in the guys’ shitter and you have a baby on the weirdo change table thing that flops out of the wall and you are standing there singing the Oompa-loompa song to her. And then another guy walks in and you realize you were just singing the Willy Wonka Ooompa-loompa song. You don’t feel so tough at that point…but you don’t care because you have the most amazing twin daughters.

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Comic strip

My Mom cut a comic strip out of the paper for me. Picture two young females having a coffee, nicley dressed, a couple of hipsters. One saying to the other, “Norris and I have discussed having kids. We figure when we get sick and tired of proper rest, the theater, travel and having sufficient funds in our bank accounts would be a logical time.”

Ah ha.

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And then we rest

And then we rest

And then we rest

And then finally, we fall asleep for a few minutes. Ahh…the quiet is beautiful.

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Word of the day; unrelenting

The word of the day today is “unrelenting”. That is what it is like being the Papa of twins today. Walking with them to the Starbucks, Story cried the entire time. Annalie slept. Now we are home, Annalie is wailing away. Hold her in my arms and she cries. Lay her in her crib, she cries, feed her, for three minutes she is quiet. Stop, she cries. She is rubbing her eyes so I know she is tired. Put her in bed for a nap, she kicks it up a notch to a full on wail. Unrelenting. Tortuously unrelenting. Just go to sleep already!

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Walkies in the wind

Slipped the girls into their piglet outfits and toques and then loaded them into the Mtn Buggy to go for a walk. I figured, they sleep once they are rolling, they need a nap, I need a Starbucks, so let’s roll.

Almost as soon as Annalie is buckled in place she goes to sleep. Blissed right out. Story? Cries the entire way to Starbucks, the entire time we were in the store, and then for about half the walk home.

So we get home, Annalie is awake now and Story is ready for a nap.

As an aside, I see that the Maclaren stroller recall has been expanded from the USA to include Canada. The importer of the Maclaren strollers made an interesting point, he asked why only Maclaren strollers are being recalled. All umbrella strollers have the same or a similar folding mechanism that can potentially cut a kid’s finger. Bed aware folks.

Here is a link to the CBC story on the recall:

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Garbage duty

Not only do I get the pleasure of changing the pissy diapers off the twins, this morning I had the extra pleasure of scraping the dirty diapers off our driveway. For some reason the crows decided our garbage cans must contain food. So they took advantage of the fact that our garbage cans were lying on their sides after last night’s wind storm, somehow pried the lid off one and pulled the dirty, piss-filled diapers out. You think a diaper can hold a lot of urine? Holy cramolly, you should see what they hold after lying in your driveway all night in a rain storm. I’m thinking these would be good in case of another Exxon Valdez oil spill.

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Baby formula is not…

A word to the wise…if you perchance run out of milk in your house and you need some kind of “coffee whitener” do not try to use baby formula. Now maybe the babies do not understand what weird tasting shit that they are drinking but…my goodness.

No milk in the fridge and no coffee whitener so I thought, what the hell, why not just use some baby formula? It is a milk like thing, it even has omega 3&6 added. I take them as supplements anyway, so why not?

Just don’t do it. And don’t tell your babies that the stuff they are drinking tastes weird and makes your coffee taste shitty because then what would you feed your munchkins if they find out? Just keep them in the dark about the taste.

But breast milk now, an entirely new dimension in coffee flavouring! But I cannot say anything more about this because if I get caught, there will be no more snow days for me…ever.

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A delicate balance that is impossible to make

The hardest part of being the Papa of twins is the balancing of other priorities that one is forced to make. For example, my father is still being held in the hospital as he awaits a transfer to a long-term care facility. This has been going on since May of this year. Of course there have been numerous medical procedures he has had to undergo in the meanwhile but now that he is medically-stable (as the hospital people say) he just waits until a bed comes available, there is a community transition worker on shift that day and the stars align in his favour.

Part of the problem is that I will not take the twins into this particular hospital because it is so disgustingly dirty that I would not want to put my children at risk to illness by taking them there. The smell of feces and urine is so overwhelming on the ward my father is being held on that it makes me gag when I walk up to see him. How could I take my little ones to such a disgusting place?

Remember the scene in the Tom Cruise movie, Born on the Fourth of July where he is in the veteran’s hospital? It was not pleasant, in fact you might say it was disgusting and horrible. That is the feeling that I get when I go up to the ward that my father is being held on.

So I am forced to balance my few hours after work between coming home and seeing my babies while they are awake and trying to get over to see my father and also see my mother who has also had her lifetime partner stolen away. It is not a balance I am happy making. There are too many losers in the balancing act I am trying to accomplish.

I try to reassure myself that my father would understand. I know he would have when he was well and at home. I’m not so sure he understands the balancing act I am forced to live with now that he is in the hospital, and so alone. My heart aches in this situation. It aches because I do miss seeing my father.

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H1N1 Vaccine

I talked to my doctor today about the pros and cons of getting the H1N1 vaccine for the twins. He was very understanding of my concern that the twins are still borderline too young, too small and too vulnerable to get the shots. He advised that if we do decide to get them the shots that we should try to get the adjuvant-free shot. However, he added that that shot is being reserved for pregnant woman. He also said that if Caragh and I have had the shot and the girls are not entertaining a significant number of visitors that we can feel somewhat safe in not getting them the H1N1 shots. It was cool to hear him respect my personal feelings about the shots.

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