The weirdest thing is the noises that startle the girls. If I DARE to cough anytime after 6pm I am banished from the house…I retreat to the mantuary…the garage where I can sit in the cold and look at my motorcycle and reminisce about the days of old when I actually rode the machine.
But the coughing thing is weird. As soon as I cough, not a booming cough, just a clear your throat kind of cuff-cuff, and the twins arms shoot straight out from their sides and their eyes pop wide open as if they have just witnessed an armed robbery with shots fired.
Or my Blackberry email alert thingy. I have it set to the Chi-Gong sound; a kind of Buddhist noise to remind me to stay in the moment. Same reaction. Arms straight out, eyes wide open. And then their mom hisses something sweet at me, something like, “You jerk, they were JUST GOING TO SLEEP”. Yeah, she hisses that in full on caps-lock.
It is just weird. Firecrackers pounding outside like we are under siege? Sleep right through that noise. “Dong” and eyes wide open. But then they realize it was me, they smile beatifically and it is all good.
I never dreamed that I would feel lucky to have actually slept, fitfully, but slept, from midnight to 5am. Now the girls are up and want to party. Their mom has different ideas and I am having a coffee before heading out to the factory to make more widgets for the world.
Crap…garbage day today too. It is a horror show if you miss garbage day here. The number of diapers that get soiled here become unmanageable so on the days I do miss the Smithrite truck (no, not a product placement…yet) I am resorting to bagging our garbage in nondescript black plastic bags and throwing it over the fence into my neighbour’s neighbour’s yard. Things are getting a bit tense in the ‘hood but they probably understand. Right?
So it is bedtime for the girls. I am just finished giving Annalie her final bottle for the next couple of hours and a couple of things come to me. First, Annalie now associates the bottle with food so when she sees it she, reaches out for it. Watching her reach for the bottle is hilarious. You know how they have those coin operated cranes in bars? The one where you drop a grapple hook onto a stuffed toy and make a futile attempt to pick it up and drag it to the corner where it will then be yours? Imagine your drunk friend doing this, trying to operate that silly little crane with his alcohol blinded judgement impairing his ability to coordinate a machine that is difficult to operate at the best of times. That is Annalie grabbing for her bottle.
Next is the irony of this situation. One thing I hate the smell of is milk. I drink my coffee black so that I never have to have a travel cup with the least hint of a smell of milk. I use soy milk on my cereal. And I hate the smell of milk. And yet my life is filled with milk. My partners breasts? Now a sacred place reserved for the babies to feast on milk. There are milk bottles on every table in the house and the fridge is filled with breats milk, formula milk and combinations of the two. There is a rotation of how they are to be used, cleaned and refilled. It is all about milk. And babies burping up partially digested milk and puking up milk and spitting up milk. Milk. The sustenance they thrive on.
And one last thing about milk, we are soon going to have to sit down and decide on which brand of milk will be the brand that our wee’uns are going to be raised on. In the old days there were Carnation babies. What will ours be? More later.
For now I have to try and convince a baby with flailing arms and legs that it is actually a good time to sleep. Good night for now.
Is this a picture of things to come? A right to the jaw to settle the “you miserable witch, you not only hogged all the room in the womb, now you took my toy!”
Okay so the H1N1 flu vaccine is now available in BC. So do you get the jab or not? The freaking guilt being heaped upon people for questioning the need for the vaccine is unbelievable. I heard some government apologist saying that the federal government has gone to extraordinary lengths and COST so that we can all get a flu shot.
So they have gone to great expense…interesting. The Big pharmaceuticals came riding to the rescue. And coincidentally made a tidy profit. To be expected, after-all, they are a business and they have to make money or their shareholders will be pissed off. So you have to put on your tin foil hat for a moment and wonder, what if the Big Pharma created this entire hysteria? Not necessarily the actual swine flu…errr I mean H1N1…but the hysteria around the flu? Marketing genius. “This flu is MORE DANGEROUS because it attacks the young.” As if who cares about the other flu that attacks the old people? “This flu is MORE DANGEROUS…and so on”.
And then, notice how it is the H1N1 flu now? How often do you hear people say Swine flu? You want to bet that the pork lobby got to the government and worked out a deal so that “Swine flu” could be repositioned in the flu marketplace as an H1N1 flu to save the pork producers? Conspiracy? Perhaps. Probably.
President Obama then signs a proclamation thus declaring this a national emergency. Okay…do I need to ask my friends at Google how many people are living with HIV/AIDS in the USA? Or how many people die from seasonal flu every year? Or, how many Americans do not have health insurance so that if they do get the seasonal flu or cancer or a broken arm they can get affordable medical attention? What was that? 40 how many MILLION? And this flu is a national emergency. Interesting.
But then, you have babies in your home and the fear that my decision is going to impact the twins permeates EVERY thought. Okay I get sick from the flu, get really sick, go to the ICU and maybe die. Shit. Game over, times up…Worst case scenario. Except then my two little angels are left here without their Super Papa. Or even worse, I get the flu, get sick, bring it home, get better and then find I have passed it on to my angels. Drop the F*** bomb here. Can you say MASSIVE GUILT? SHIT.
So what do you do? What should I do? Dunno as of tonight.
Cruising facebook today I came across a crazy ranting blogger, http://dooce.com/about. That site is written by some crazy wild woman! And I like it. It is foul and it is vulgar and it calls out large corporations for their crappy service and it is entertaining! I love it. Check it out, pass judgement on it if you like and don’t go back to it. I will though. It is just that crazy enough to warrant a return visit.
Just before I am about to slip out the door to go to live-blog (at www.theleftcoast.ca) the BC Country Music Awards show at the Red Robinson Theatre, I see that Story has had a massive diaper filler, what we “affectionately” call a poonami, and it has breeched the edges of the diaper. So, it is hose down child, pull poo soiled blankies out of her crib, pull off sheet, replace all bedding and put freshly sanitized child back in her crib where she has a massive grin on her face.
I then head out to the theatre to shake many music industry people and musicians’ hands. When I get home I wonder if I had remembered to wash my hands before going out…
Story and I are now back home after the traditional Sunday morning breakfast at Quan’s Kitchen. This morning Story’s mother was awake before we could sneak out of the house so Story was actually properly clothed this time. Usually I sneak away early so whichever twin comes with me is attired in her sleepwear.
This morning though Story was dressed up like a Paddington Bear lookalike. Story then gets all the attention from the other people at Quan’s who are breaking their fast. Fortunately she behaved like the little princess she is and our fine-dining experience was tres pleasant.
Today was a very busy day for the twins. They went to the bank and opened savings accounts, as well as chequing accounts so now they will have service charge free banking until they are 25 years old. The girls also went to the library and got themselves their very own library cards. Not too sure why they need their own cards at this time…but who am I to argue with the twins?
Posted in Life Musings
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