Another Restless Night in the Nursery

Now that was a brutal night. And the last time I let a doctor’s advice trump my experience and observations.

The backgrounder; after the twins one year warranty check-up the doctor told us that the kids should be sleeping through the night. We were told that they have enough body weight to carry them through the night without a middle of the night bottle. Suuuure.

Last night at about 10:30pm I gave Baby A her usual top up before sleeping bottle. All good. She goes to sleep, her Momma goes to sleep and her sister goes to sleep. I even go to sleep.

Until 12:30am when it sounds like a devil banshee is in the nursery devouring Baby A. Screaming at a volume you might scream at if you were approached in an underground parking lot by a thug wearing a hoodie pulled low over his face. That was not the wake-up call I was anticipating.

Clamber out of my sleepy reverie and stagger into the nursery. Try to soothe the savage beast that has taken the place of Baby A before its mother and Baby B awake. Limited success, she goes back to sleep after a half hour of rocking in the chair.

Back to sleep until 2:30am when the screams threaten to wake the neighbours three doors down. Out of bed, to the nursery before the mother awakens. There is no soothing this savage thing. In a very low, almost growling voice Baby A speaks her first words; “Get me a bottle NOW.” And then reverts to screaming.

Down to the kitchen with her, bottle in the microwave for forty seconds all the while the savage beast I have carried downstairs is howling like a child possessed. Her mother comes down the stairs to demand why I have not made the microwave warm the bottle faster so that the beast could be fed. Somehow it is all my fault when things go awry in the middle of the night.

Back up to the nursery with the savage beast who now has a bottle in her mouth and is calming…somewhat. Finish the bottle, baby falls asleep again…for thirty minutes. Enough of this already. I can no longer see out of my right eye due to the throbbing in my head. Place the child in the bed beside me and tell her to go to sleep. She does for the rest of the night. In twenty minute intervals.

Every twenty minutes she wakes up, tries to crawl over my face and into the void at the head of the bed, screams a bit as I put her back in position to sleep. Falls asleep until 6:20am at which there is no more sleep to be had.

Stagger downstairs to find their mother, my coffee princess, already in the kitchen grinding the beans. And another day begins.

Missing the “Man Time” Part of Life

Perhaps the toughest thing that came along with having twin baby girls is the fact that I rarely ever get “man time.” Now make no mistake, it is a dream to have two of the most beautiful little girls the world has ever seen. And my wife, well, we are the very best of partners.

To put things in perspective, the residents of my house include, of course my darling wife, my two beautiful twin daughters, my mother-in-law and her female care-giver, my female dog, and a female cat. My nemesis, the orange cat is the only other male in the house. And he has had his testicles removed…hardly a worthy ally. 

Anyway, it sure would be nice to have a buddy to call up now and then to chat about hockey, motorcycles and the wacky things that we have done in the years gone by. I’m getting the feeling it is time to head out of town for a couple of hours of motorcycle thrills. Or at least go for a coffee with a buddy?

The Joy of Coffee

Do you ever stop and think about how our modern day conveniences came about? Things that we depend on everyday, things like, for example, coffee.

Who was it that stopped and picked the coffee berries and then had the foresight to dry them and save the hard little nut like thing that was inside? Imagine the conversation of the hunter-gatherer times discovering coffee…perhaps the conversation went something like this;

“Hmmm…food! Look, a bright red berry. Let’s eat it.” Chomp into nut inside, spit it out.

Who made the leap of logic to save that nut, dry it and then roast it? And then who thought, hey maybe if we grind it up and pour hot water over it we can have a lovely and invigorating morning beverage? Who ever it was, THANK YOU!!

If you want to know more about coffee, visit my online friend (that is the modern language for the old fashioned, time-honoured tradition of the imaginary friend) Coffee Nate.

Do twins run in the family?

Today when people asked us about the twins we replied that in fact they were not twins, we had met on PlentyofFish.com and we both had babies that were the same age, purely coincidental that they were born on the same day.

And then later when people asked if twins ran in the family, we replied, not with scissors they don’t.

A word to the wise folks. Everybody probably already knows this but if you are schlepping along with a tired and hungry baby and the bottle of milk you have packed is stone cold, the Starbucks folk are usually pretty awesome about giving you a Grande a cup with a coupla inches of hot water in it to warm that bottle. You all know what I am talking about when I say this. Screaming, hungry baby, cold milk, just sit down in the Starbucks and they will see why that Grande of hot water is important. I didn’t mean to disrupt your conversation folks! The Starbucks person actually carried my coffees and that Grande to the car for me…so helpful!

Baby formula is not…

A word to the wise…if you perchance run out of milk in your house and you need some kind of “coffee whitener” do not try to use baby formula. Now maybe the babies do not understand what weird tasting shit that they are drinking but…my goodness.

No milk in the fridge and no coffee whitener so I thought, what the hell, why not just use some baby formula? It is a milk like thing, it even has omega 3&6 added. I take them as supplements anyway, so why not?

Just don’t do it. And don’t tell your babies that the stuff they are drinking tastes weird and makes your coffee taste shitty because then what would you feed your munchkins if they find out? Just keep them in the dark about the taste.

But breast milk now, an entirely new dimension in coffee flavouring! But I cannot say anything more about this because if I get caught, there will be no more snow days for me…ever.

Smiles and love

You have been awake for far too long in the night holding a crying baby, you are tired and you have a long day of work ahead outside of the house, you haven’t had a morning coffee yet, you are grumpy. And then you look in the crib and see two beautiful babies looking up at you with smiles stretching from ear to ear and your heart sings and its all good!

Coffee at the village

This morning Annalie and I went down to the Village for an early Thanksgiving coffee. It is neat to see so many other fathers out with their little ones. There was one father who came in with a baby even smaller and then my twin dolls. I like this. Yesterday I saw many fathers walking while pushing strollers. Funny how you do not notice these things until you have joined the ranks of the fathers walking with little ones.

The same applies to vans. Who notices vans until you need one? I am getting tired of trying to jam myself, my partner and the twins into the car. Driving with my knees pressed against the steering wheel really sucks. It is a fine balance of pain though, which sucks more, jamming self against steering wheel or driving a van? At some point we will have to begin test driving vehicles.

At this point we are gearing up for a Thanksgiving walk through the forest. It is fun to watch the girls looking at the trees with such wonder. I can only imagine the brain development that is taking place every time we step outside. And step outside we will now. More later.