Today was one of those days that you just look back on and laugh at. Of course, like every other day around our place it started at 0600hr; it doesn’t matter if it is the first day of a new year or the last day of the old year, it begins at 0600.
The plan for the day was to go to Kits Beach and let the girls play on the new playground equipment in the super-accessible to all kids playground.
Seeing as it was -8 Celsius outside, my Sweetheart felt it was imperative to dress the girls as if they were going on an Arctic exploration.
When I consider the exercise of clothing a toddler for a trip out of the house, I can not think of anything in my life that has prepared me for the frustration of putting 23 layers of clothing on a toddler. Perhaps, if like so many other kids I’d had a cat when I was younger that I dressed in dolls clothes I might have some wisdom to refer back to. Unfortunately the cat we had when I was a kid was an old Siamese tomcat that was meaner than a bag of snakes. That cat was more like a wild animal that sat on our porch than a family pet.
Anyway, working as a team, my Sweetheart and I managed to get the girls into multiple layers of clothing. Just in time for that unmistakable smell that says, “strip ’em down and change that diaper.”
Once we were all dressed for the Arctic again, we headed for the car. Loading the girls into the car is another exciting experience. If they remember any of the things that I have said to them in order to get them to bend in the middle so that I can do up the car seat harness, I am in big trouble. I have already promised each of them their own pony, any breed of dog or cat they want, a mini-bike, a trip to the Galapagos and stuff that I do not even care to remember.
As soon as the car was moving Blonde Bear fell asleep. And Brown Bear began to scream. And scream. And scream some more. And more. All the way from the darkest reaches of the suburbs to Kits Beach. At least Blonde Bear got some rest en route.
We arrive at Kits Beach and found both girls with a water balloon of piss strapped to their ass. Back in the car and over to Starbucks. Starbucks where they only have a change table in the women’s washroom, not the men’s room. How out of touch with the reality is that?
While waiting for my Sweetheart to change one water balloonish diaper I am supposed to be watching Brown Bear…I was…I swear I was. Until I pulled out my fancy new Samsung Galaxy Vibrant smartphone (review of that device coming in the next couple of days) to check my Twitter feed. And now due to the legal papers and stuff I had to sign at Starbucks I can not say anymore about what transpired other than to say that the crash from a collapsing shelf of Starbucks mugs and stuff is truly spectacular. Wow.
Back to the playground at Kits Beach. Like every other parent of toddlers we go directly to the cool new slide. This slide is not one of the old school ones made out of a sheet of tin that will reach temperatures similar to the outer reaches of the sun. No. This slide is made of rollers like they kind they use in a brewery to move cases of beer around. Very cool.
The girls loved it. Until another slightly bigger girl grabbed Brown Bear by the front of the jacket and tried to rag-doll her. Brown Bear was so taken aback that she just reached out and hugged the kid. My kid…so cool. Then the father grabbed his daughter and proceeded to do the walk of shame across the field while we all stared at his retreating figure.
Our day continued much as it had gone all morning. Lots of laughs, lots of screaming and crying on the way home, this time Blonde Bear provided the soundtrack while Story managed to get a quality sleep.
Just another day in the life. It’s all good.