Today was one of the most emotionally difficult days that I have had to face since becoming a father.
After our girls were born I went back to work. That was tough to do. But it was easier for me to return to work knowing that our baby girls’ mother was there with them, and for them. All that changed today.
Today, my Sweetheart rejoined the paid workforce; she is out of the comfort and safety of our home. In other words, our babies spent the day at home with someone other than a blood relative. This has been more difficult for me to deal with than the day that I returned to work.
Stacey,
I hear yah. I cried in the bathroom at work my first day (and I left Kahlen with my best friend). I promise it gets easier… not that saying that will give you much comfort right now. I wish there was an easy *poof* kind of solution 🙂
Kelsey
When I went back to work it seemed like I was the worst mom in the world. I eventually negotiated a 3-day work week with my new job that worked out good for everyone. My kids got time with a fun caregiver a few days a week, but mommy was still there to be a big part of their life and upbringing. My husband’s love, support and understanding also was so important to me keeping sane and not bawling my eyes out all the time. Hang in there. Just remember to be there for each other, and not let the stress of everything get to you guys!
I feel for ya.
My crying came when my young teenage son started going to high school in Vancouver and I was in the Okanagan. I’d put him on the plane Sunday night and cry all the way home from the airport. I always organized something supportive for the rest of the evening.
When he was little I was so lucky to stay home until he was 2 and a half (we were deadly poor – a tough trade off) and then I went back to University. By then, I’d been practicing leaving him with family or sitters once a week to take one course plus the occasional date night. Once he went to daycare, I got one of the VERY few coveted part-time spots and mostly got him early if I could. Meant my homework was all done after bed-time (mine!) but I loved his daycare, he enjoyed the half day experience, and school is flexible enough I could skip class if I had to once in a while. Plus, the daycare was a short walk from home, and classes were a 15 to 20 minute walk away from daycare.
As I said on Facebook, the emotional impact is tough enough, but it’s the other bits, too. Sitting at a red light, or behind a line of traffic, while you’re anxious to get home to your kids – when it’s a nanny is different from the anticipation of getting home to the whole family if one of the parents gets to be home. I feel for you and Caragh on all the levels. Let us know how your little girls are doing with the change.
Leaving your kids with a child care provider rather than a relative can be really tough. I’m very lucky to have lots of extended family close by and already know which relative will be providing me with child care when I go back to work next September. When you find a good child care giver, it’s not so hard, but finding a good child care giver is very hard.