Some thoughtful and kind person recently sent me a blog post about how it is important to slow down and let your children set the pace.
Yes, this was someone who witnessed the frenzy of screaming, cajoling, bribery and veiled threats as my sweetheart and I were trying to get our girls dressed in clothing, with coats, hats and boots and out the door to one of their classes.
See the thing is with kids classes most of them are 30 minutes long. If you show up 5, 10 or 15 minutes late for the class, that means that the half hour of quiet that you have paid for has now been reduced to approximately 10 minutes.
And anybody who knows what it’s like living with five-year-olds or any kids in that age bracket, basically anybody under 30, you cherish that time that you were buying – those fleeting quiet moments that you’re buying where you can sit in an uncomfortable and usually freezing room watching your kid behave like an angel for some total and random stranger.
Because really who gives a shit if the kids learn how to skate-ski-paint-dance-swim or whatever it is that you have registered them in? The reality is you were buying quiet time.
So “slowing down and letting the children set the pace” really is a bunch of bullshit. You are doing everything humanly possible to get them dressed, watered, drained, pooped, and into a car and out and into the lesson as fast as you possibly can. Because I’m telling you, an extra 10 minutes of quiet is golden time.
I also understand that this blog post will probably make me lose my nomination for parent of the year. That’s okay because I’m enjoying these minutes of quiet while my kid is in some class right now.