The Most Dangerous Driver on the Canadian Roads; NaBloPoMo 24

After significant rigorous scientific analysis of mounds of data, we have a reached a conclusion as to which demographic group is the most dangerous group of automobile drivers. And the results may surprise you.

The first and most obvious group of drivers we analyzed and scrutinized was the male specimen, 16 to 25 years old. Yes, these testosterone filled hormone carriers were candidates for the honour of most dangerous drivers because of their hot-rod cars and desire to “show-off” for their peers and members of the opposite sex in a similar age grouping. Yes, definitely a dangerous group of drivers. But not the most dangerous.

The next group to be scrutinized is the “more senior-style” of driver. This grouping is often identifiable by the Veteran license plate on the front and rear of their impecably maintained automobile. Another obvious identifier on their automobile is the BCAA sticker in the rear window.

At first glance these drivers were thought to be high-risk drivers because of their slowed reaction time. While interviewing one subject I was told, “Listen up sonny, I’ve backed up more miles than a young punk like you has ever driven forward.”

This is possibly true seeing as my primary mode of transportation is my bicycle or my skateboard. That will be the case until I find a new family car.

The senior driver was not found to be a high-risk group however, because their driving habits were found to include simple and straight-forward driving habits. They were often found to leave their homes for a mid-day drive to the grocery store or shopping mall and then to return to their homes. The time of day and the distances they drove kept them relatively safe in spite of their slowed reactions and propensity to have CISL 650 (more commonly known as Senile 650) blaring loud on their AM radios.

So who is the most dangerous driver on our roads? If it is not the hormone raging male or the senile senior, who is it then? You might be surprised to find out that there is a two way tie for the title of most dangerous drivers. You might be even more surprised to find out which demographic grouping is in the most dangerous driver grouping.

Without further ado, the first and possibly most dangerous driver on the road is the mother taking her kids to school driver.

These are typically young women who are in a rush to get their kids to school on time in spite of the fact that they left their home five minutes too late. They are typically driving the “mommy van” also known as a mini-van. These drivers often have a Starbucks coffee cup in their hand and an intense and steely look in their eyes.

These drivers are some of the most focussed drivers on the road. Unfortunately, they get tunnel-focus and lose sight of things like pedestrians.

The other group of drivers who rival the mother-dropping the kids off at school group of drivers is the church-going family car often piloted by a middle-aged male with a woman in the passenger seat and two scowling children in the rear seats. Often the woman can be seen mouthing the words, “I told you we were going to be late” as the male wheels the car through the throngs of other parishioners racing into the church.

There you have it. The two most dangerous drivers on the road: mothers and church-goers.

Please keep in mind that this blog post is intended to be fun and light-hearted. There was no actual scientific study of any data to substantiate the wildly hilarious claims that I have made here. Any insurance company doing research should not use this blog post as a basis for changing insurance rates.