The portrait “package” for holiday-themed photo shoot

So the tears have stopped, the cries have abated, the twins are in bed asleep and I have a glass of Vino Collapso (wine from a box, surprisingly nice wine from a box I might add) in hand. What happened? Well, first off, we had scheduled with Sears a 10am portrait shoot for our twins. It was to be a Halloween themed shoot, babies in angel outfits with a little wand in hand and wings on their backs. Yeah cute.

10am is typically nap time. Typically meaning every day at 10am the girls are in their cribs asleep. So today we accept the appointment and hope for the best. The best was not the result we ended up with.

When we arrived we enquired about the photos from our previous shoot. A shoot that took place sometime in August. The reply, “Oh yeah, we were going to call you to say they were here.” And then she tries to hand me an envelope with three 8x10s in it. Me with a baby in one arm, and enough gear to outfit an expedition. Thanks sweetheart, my hands are full.

So then we get the angel costumes on the twins. Weird frilly skirts and wings that have elastics that go around their arms. Really cute, really uncomfortable for the girls. So we enter the studio. The “photographer” rolls out the background and we begin to shoot photos. Well we try. She says put the two babies, in these costumes they hate into a basket. The basket only holds one screaming baby. Go ahead and put the other baby on top of the other baby she says.

And on from their, one baby screaming while the other was being soothed, then shoot a couple pics, baby begins screaming, switch off babies, soothe, switch. Shoot.

And then you come out of the studio, the young photographer says wait a couple of minutes while she preps photos on the computer. She does, with all their glossy touch-ups and doo-dads so they look pretty darn good.

We then get to view the pictures and choose the shots we want. And of course the best deal is the package of shots…for $269 but a special deal today and we can have it for…

I snap. Enough of the crying babies, stupid baskets, uncomfortable angel wings and package deals of photographs. I assume the role of the bad guy and say in no uncertain terms, “I am not buying another package of photos, we want three sheets, I trust my sweetheart to choose the pics” and I walk away with the screaming baby I am holding.