Before I begin I want to make it clear that this blog is not a cry out for help and I’m not going to do anything drastic or crazy or stupid. I also want to let you know that I may use the occasional expletive or swear word, so be forewarned.
Have you ever thought about the purpose of your life? What is it all about or what are you trying to achieve in this rat race?
Let me back up a little further. Last year was a hell of a year. It was a year of significant losses for me with a number of close friends, relatives and acquaintances dying. And then my childhood home, with my massive collection of uninsured Lego inside, burned to the ground. In short it was a fucked up and painful year.
And now this year has started out on somewhat of a similar theme. A wonderful person I know passed away early in January and now this weekend I found out that two distant relatives of mine have died.
All these losses have made me wonder what the fuck is it all about. What is the purpose of my life?
I go to work and I enjoy my job and then I come home. I enjoy being with my children. I enjoy spending time with my wife.
Of course that is until they start screaming and fighting and yelling and telling me that they don’t like me and that I’m a horrible human being because I insist that we leave right this minute so that we can get to some silly thirty minute lesson where they are going to hopefully learn something about music/art/dance/swimming/skating/skiing or whatever the lesson of the day is about.
As an aside, the only lesson that is really important is swimming because your actual life may depend on it at some point. Just saying.
Overall, life is quite pleasant. Pleasant like Jim Carrey’s life in that movie where his life was all scripted, what was it? The Truman Show? I often feel like my life is the Truman Show.
As a result I’ve been thinking perhaps rather than living on the set of the Truman Show perhaps a life with Rick and Daryl on the Walking Dead would be more fulfilling.
Of course I wouldn’t want to be involved with all the nastiness of the actual walking dead and having to fight with all the horrible people who see me and family as food and are trying to continually kill me. However, the other aspects of their life where they have essentially become hunter-gatherers seems somewhat appealing to me.
A return to the land and live free of modern day encumbrances and grow my own food, hunt for our own meat and live with nature. Going to sleep when it is dark and rising when the sun comes up again. Being at one with nature.
Of course it seems appealing from the safe confines of the set of the Truman Show but do you ever think about what it would be like to revert to being a hunter and gather? Where the only thing that matters is where is your next meal coming from? how are you going to find some asswipe? where you going to sleep tonight or is this water safe to drink?
Perhaps from the safety of the Truman Show it looks glamorous and exciting. But I have to say with the way this last year has gone and the way this year is started it sure made me wonder what the fuck this is all about.