Baby Product Test Results

From the time that our twins were born I have made a point of “trying” or testing out all the products that I use with them. I do this under the guise of knowing what it is that I am making my kidlets use or consume. Strictly scienctific stuff here folks. Science.

So one of the first things I had to test out was the breast milk. That was easy enough and actually had a faintly appealing flavour to it. Remember, this was done in the name of science.

Next was the baby formula. I actually wrote about this test in an earlier post. In all honesty, the baby formula tasted so awful that I could not really test it by drinking it. Instead I tried to use it as a coffee whitener. No go.

With the diaper situation I did the Number One test. Newborn Huggies do not meet a man’s needs. Diapers designed for the 22-37 pound baby come pretty close. The coolest thing with the diapers was seeing one after a raccoon broke it open in the driveway. Those suckers (the diapers) can suck up a lot of water from the driveway. Inside the diaper are these wierd little gel balls that swell up into squishy little marbles that make cool science stuff.

Baby wipes were pretty uninspiring. However, I have decided to buy a case of them for when we go glamping (glamour-camping). The wipes work better than any outdoor shower ever could.

Teething time…enter Hyland’s Teething Tablets. Virtually tasteless little tablets. Maybe a hint of mint as they dissolve on the tongue.

Baby Tylenol, grape flavour is quite pleasant. Be aware this is a medicine and use it appropriately. I do not recommend using it as a drink flavouring.

But now we get into the really nifty testing. When a baby gets constipated first you try things like those little jars of prunes. Most of the baby food I have tested was really quite bland. I had to put a teaspoon of salt into the veggies in order to make it tasty. The brown rice and veggies were also lacking salt.

However, if the prunes are ineffective in getting things moving, you move to the lactulose. This is some kind a lab invented wierd science thing. Some folks in white lab coats trying to create a new energy source stumbled upon this find. It usually gets things moving. It really did for me. Oy vey. It makes me think of a modern day Castor oil.

But then when things get right out of hand, or backed up, you go to the glycerin suppositories. Now in the name of science and being informed about what I might have to give my child, I tested this product. In the language of teenagers, this product is “the shit.”  I felt like I was ten pounds lighter after this product test. In one word, this product is awesome.

I will be sure to keep you informed of all future product tests and their results.

1 Comment

  1. You really do go above and beyond. You should be a Science teacher! I bet you would have some pretty interesting and possibly “notes in your personnel file” type experiments.

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